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I've always felt that addictions are symptoms and that managing an addiction is a distraction from the root causes of your addiction. From drugs and alcohol to eating disorders, it's vital to examine the possible root causes rather than spinning your wheels by treating symptoms. This podcast examines the psychological root causes of one kind young man's weight problems, this may be an enormous help to those who have struggled long and hard with addictions of any kind.

Click here to begin expanding your self-knowledge and hopefully you can achieve a more thorough understanding of yourself.

Ever since hearing about the idea in this podcast, I have considered doing this little exercise of writing a letter to my future girlfriend and the woman I'd want to spend the rest of my life with, that way I can better identify her when we meet. So I have finally done it, let me know what you think.

Dearest (insert future girlfriend name here),

I cannot wait to meet you!

I am completely bowled over by all the things I admire so much about you. I admire your curious and introspective nature. I admire and love the way you think and reason, the way you hold truth as a value above all things.

It's so amazing that you love the truth even if it is a truth that is difficult or challenging and even if it makes you sad, scared or angry! I've never met anyone like that. Your commitment to honesty is always such a relief to me and that I can always be honest with you tells me so much about your virtue.

There is such a feeling of safety around you, the freedom to be myself, the freedom to be honest and vulnerable. You are so kind and gentle. I don't have to tiptoe around a minefield of subjects to avoid, I don't have to be worried about whether you will become defensive, whether you will withdrawal or attack or become passive aggressive. I can relax, you really take an interest in me and that really fills me to the brim with such a beaming joy.

You are always so curious and not just about yourself, not just about others, not just about the world but about all my feelings. You are so patient with me too, even when a problem of mine takes days to fully resolve, even if it is because I feel angry with you about something, even if I feel sad or scared, even if it means canceling a dinner party with friends. You show me that I am the most important person to you and that makes me feel so amazing, so connected and I can only imagine how you would make your children feel.

I love the courage you show when you speak about your thoughts, emotions, values and about all the things you treasure most in this world. I love the courage you show when admitting to something you feel ashamed about and the courage you show despite the possibility of disapproval among others. There is such a kind bravery too, because you do not kowtow into conformity for anyone and especially not at the expense of good people.

I also love the courage you show in your assertiveness, expressing your preferences, and when it comes to saying what needs to be said, you never ignore the elephant in the room - the one everyone else is ignoring. You have no qualms with pointing out that the emperor has no clothes.

I deeply respect the way you assert your boundaries, the way you protect yourself and avoid those who would try to hurt, exploit or abuse you. I can only smile when I think about how you so fiercely protect and defend the truly good people in your life and keep the evil people out. You always rush to the defense of the victim and never make excuses for the abuser and because of all this, your children will surely grow to be independent, self-actualized, assertive and just as protective of themselves and others.

I love the way you enjoy yourself and what you do. You really seem to love who you are! You have such a fascinating inner world full of wisdom to share and you have so much to teach me. You are so passionate about your interests, you have a real purpose in life and you grab onto life living every day like there's no tomorrow - yet - still you manage to take into consideration the long term gains you get from the little short term pains you're willing to exchange for them. There is such a an ebb and flow of dynamic balance about you.

You have such confidence in your capacity to achieve whatever you set your mind to and have such a self-sustaining, self-sufficient and independent character.

You are so generous with your time and care, generous with all the many countless little things - so generous that I will find it a challenge to give back in equal measure. You have so much empathy for yourself, for others, for the world. You have so much to offer, so much to bring to the table.

Future girlfriend, I look forward to the day we meet and I truly hope that I can be a large part of the rest of your life.

An excerpt from the (free) book Real-Time Relationships: The Logic of Love by Stefan Molyneux

Fundamentally, courage is not bravery with regards to another human being, but rather with regards to moral ideals.

My wife, though wonderfully courageous in many areas, has a certain weakness when it comes to social gatherings.

For instance, she has an ex-friend who is involved in a highly dysfunctional relationship. Recently, when we were at a party, we were told that this woman had gotten married to her boyfriend. Christina exclaimed: “Oh, that’s great!”

I was somewhat surprised, to say the least, and really put my foot in it by saying to her in front of everyone: “Really? I didn’t think you were such a big fan of their relationship.”

(It’s always good to have something to talk about during the drive home.)

Of course, I was not particularly concerned with Christina’s disavowal of her true feelings in company – particularly since the woman in question showed up at the party later on. I was more concerned with the fact that she placed the perceptions of others above the truth of her own feelings – feelings which were accurate and valid. I was most concerned, however, with the fact that she did not seem conscious of her reversal of values. If she had expressed approval with her friend standing right behind her, I would have understood her caution – however, there was no compelling and immediate reason to express approval of something she did not in fact approve of.

The reason that this troubled me, of course, was that I really didn’t like the idea that Christina could betray her values – even in this minor manner – for the sake of the possible disapproval of the people we were talking to, who we see maybe once every year or two.

This also made me feel insecure, since Christina and I both hold trusting our own feelings as a high value – as well as honesty of course. I really disliked the idea that the virtues we believed in and practiced were sort of a “private world” that had nothing to do with the “real world” of everyone else.

You know that feeling you get if you are dating a woman who never wants to introduce you to her friends? You get this uneasy sensation that you are kind of “below the radar,” or something to be hidden relative to her life as a whole. You are, in fact, a sort of embarrassment, in that she obviously feels that she must be “slumming” in some manner. If she felt that you would enhance her status with her friends, she would drag you to see them against your will if she had to.

When I was 17, I worked in a day-care centre teaching a room full of kids. I became friends with a woman who was slightly older, and was just going through a divorce. Over dinner one evening, she told me about her psychic abilities. Because I was 17, my hormones and I listened attentively.

Over a departmental lunch the next day, I mentioned her psychic abilities as part of a more general conversation. She became completely red-faced, and chastised me afterwards for bringing that up.

So many of us have this kind of “private world” that we openly disavow, scorn and reject when we are in the company of others. This is a form of cowardice, since we abandon what is precious to us for fear of the disapproval or rejection of others.

In other words, we reject ourselves rather than be rejected by others.

This avoids the pain of humiliation, but also keeps us trapped in an underworld of people we know will humiliate us if we are honest.  The reason that this habit is so hard to respect or love is because it involves so many contradictions.

If a certain belief or habit is truly valuable, it does not lose its value in the presence of others. Real money does not lose its value in the presence of counterfeit currency – quite the opposite is true in fact.

Conversely, if the opinions of others is the best methodology for determining our values, then those values cannot exist except through the opinions of others – thus there should be nothing to hide in the presence of others, since no values have been accepted or practised without their prior approval.  It is hard to respect someone who wants to “have his cake and eat it too” by holding private virtues that he consistently disavows in public. We tend to shy away from these sorts of people not only because of their hypocrisy, but also because these sorts of contradictory values make raising children enormously difficult.

If you ask a woman to evaluate a particular situation and she openly says, “Oh, I have no idea, I’ll have to check with all my friends,” then there is no possibility of equality in her relationship with her friends. If all her friends hold the same values, then they will be empty echoes of endless cross-referencing, with no ideas or opinions being generated at all.

At least one of her friends must be able to generate opinions, which everyone else then references. Thus she both prefers and dislikes opinions – she dislikes having her own for fear of disapproval, and so she must prefer that other people create her opinions for her.

Of course, you never do meet people who openly tell you that they have no opinions, but must always ask their friends – and that is why these cowardly evasions are so odious. People always claim that their opinions are both virtuous and true, that they have integrity and are willing to stand up for what they believe in, and then they generally fold at the slightest sign of pressure or disapproval.

The fact that they fold – as we all do at times – does not warn them that they are not actually living their values, and must more closely examine their companions. Since everyone has a general access to the self medicating madness of instant mythology, all that people do when they act in a cowardly manner is redefine their actions as virtuous in some manner.

Thus a woman may say: “I know that I said that, but I didn’t want to offend people (I’m nice), and besides, people don’t change (I’m practical), and we were enjoying their hospitality (I’m not ungrateful), and the person in question was going to show up (I’m prudent) – and besides, yesterday you said X, Y and Z (you’re hypocritical).”

This is why a lack of integrity tends to make us uneasy – because it always ends up being an attack on truth in general and our integrity in particular.

Not too relaxing…

Sirius is the brightest star in the sky and only 8.6 light years from earth, you can find it very close to Orion's belt. For several thousand years, The Three Kings has been used to refer to these three stars ζ Ori (Alnitak), ε Ori (Alnilam) and δ Ori (Mintaka). They make up the asterism known as Orion's Belt.

Most if not all religious mythology has generally been made up of stories which correspond with or explain humanity's perspective of stars in the sky. Thus it isn't too surprising that the old myth we hear about every year around this time involves "the three kings" who follow the brightest star.

Little did they know back then that Sirius is not a single star but a binary star system consisting of a white main sequence star called Sirius A, and a faint white dwarf companion called Sirius B.

It is also interesting to note that the Jesus myth is not the only, nor the first life-death-rebirth deity whose story involves three kings, a bright star and/or a virgin birth.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life-death-rebirth_deity

What happens when we apply the dictionary definition of "cult" to mainstream institutions?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljNbT7J5aPY

Take the red pill, wake up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P772Eb63qIY

"The only way boys, sometimes, are allowed to get close to their mothers is when they are sick. Times that are remembered by men as blissful, since only then can they admit their desperate need for nurturing."

-Lloyd deMause (the Origins of War in Child Abuse)

"Political language...is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind." ~ George Orwell

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson

by Stefan Molyneux

To me, there are some practical considerations to questions of vegetarianism that I think are important to remember, outside of the moral arguments that are put forward in my book.

It is true that a highly retarded human being may not be a whole lot more intelligent than a chimpanzee, but the reality is that very few people want to eat either apes or people, so I don't consider that to be a highly pressing issue, to say the least.

Secondly, I do think that it is a slippery slope to say that eating plants is "better" than eating animals -- plants certainly seem capable of feeling pain, and I'm not sure where the clear demarcation is betwee, say, lizards and plants -- if we are going to say that it is okay to eat the category "plants" but not "lizards" - then we are already saying that a category called "less intelligent/less aware" is okay to eat, which also would include "humans" versus "animals/plants."

Thirdly, I think it's also important to remember that if we stop eating animals, we will not treat the ones we have better -- which certainly would be great of course -- but all that will happen is that we will have fewer animals. It seems quite possible that cows would become extinct -- or close to it -- and perhaps chickens and pigs as well, so I'm not sure that would be a better solution for them.

Fourthly, one of the reasons I think that animals are treated quite badly in domestication -- and why we eat them in such quantities -- is because the true cost of meat is obscured by near-universal government subsidies. Of course we are all aware of the fact that it takes 7 pounds of grain to create 1 pound of meat -- as well as a prodigious amount of extra water -- and yet grain does not cost a tiny percentage of meat -- that is because of government subsidies, which of course should be -- and would be -- eliminated in a voluntary society. This would result in vastly increased prices of meat, relative to vegetables and grains, which would reduce demand, and thus reduce the number of domesticated animals designated for slaughter.

Fifthly, if we do have the goal of raising our empathy towards animals -- which I think is a fine idea -- then I think that we face the requirements to first raise people's empathy towards human beings, which seems far easier, although still terrifically difficult.

For instance, it seems impossible to imagine that Americans would become more empathetic towards animals before they become more empathetic to the victims of US imperialism, such as the innocent Iraqi civilians who are murdered by the tens of thousands.

Thus the goal of raising empathy towards animals has to go through the requirement of raising empathy towards humans. And of course there is no way to raise empathy towards others without raising empathy towards oneself, which is the great challenge of self-knowledge and gentleness with the self.

The elimination of cruelty towards animals would seem to me to be only achievable after the elimination of cruelty towards the self, and cruelty towards other human beings, particularly children -- thus I think that the goals of this philosophy conversation arenecessary prerequisites for the goals of animal rights activists, and so I am sure that we can work together to achieve the necessary empathy within the human race that serve both of our goals of elevating the moral sentiments of mankind.

"Can omniscient God, who
Knows the future, find
The omnipotence to
Change His future mind?" - Karen Owen

"Calling atheism a religion is like calling 'bald' a hair color." - Don Hirschberg

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality." - George Bernard Shaw

"When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion." - Robert M. Pirsig

"He [Jehovah] is arguably the most unpleasant character in fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully." - Richard Dawkins

In alcoholic families, each family member plays a role. One role is that of the enabler. The enabler encourages and subsidizes the bad behavior of the alcoholic in some way, perpetuating and increasing the dysfunction.

The enabler shields and protects the alcoholic from the natural consequences of their drinking. The enabler will do everything - from ensuring that the alcoholic makes it to work in the morning to picking them up from the bar in the evening, to buying alcohol and keeping it in the house.

They take on the responsibility that the alcoholic should otherwise take on. They take all of the blame and abuse that follows should they fail to fulfill their role. For those who understand Nietzsche's master/slave morality, this is the cold, cruel, passive aggressive vengeance of the slave. The child gets revenge on his abusive and neglectful parents in the end, by handing them the shovel for the grave they dig with their self-destructive habits.

There is an enabler in every dysfunctional family - not just those with alcoholics.

When you subsidize bad decisions, you get an increase in bad decisions. That which you subsidize you increase. Most people who win the lottery end up spending it all on frivolous things within a couple of years. Thieves who manage to steal large sums of money from a bank heist can do no better. People who inherit their parents wealth are rarely the wisest of investors. The money given to the poor is rarely used to make them rich.

We cannot replace the mind by seizing the products of the mind.

In the case of the government bailouts it is worse, because everyone is forced at the point of a gun to become an enabler for those who pillage our money through taxation, inflate the money supply by printing more, and take on an increasing amount of debt. They run wild with their stolen booty, handing all their campaign donors their expected cut of the loot. Do you think the money they hand to banks and corporations will be invested wisely this time?

Oh but you cry that "without the government who would protect us from thieves and murderers?" Who? People like George Bush?

Oh, but without the government, who will protect us from the corporations who mismanage business and hurt the working class?

It is mind boggling that people can, with a straight face, suggest that those who force us to enable that mismanagement should be put in charge of protecting us from that mismanagement. They can't even manage the money they stole.

It's worse than suggesting that we protect a village from wolves by releasing a pride of lions.

When you cloak the golden gun of government under the velvet veil of voluntary language, when you support a candidate by voting, when you salute the flag, when you claim the "heroic virtue" of holding the family together by keeping the alcoholic in business, you willfully play the role of the enabler.

Please, you are standing in blood. Stop shielding the natural consequences that befall those who do evil. Stop giving medals, parades and holidays to murdering hit men. Stop praising the virtue of thieves. Stop staring in awe at the leaders of organized crime gangs. Stop enabling government.

End statism now.

Are IQ tests a reliable means of measuring intelligence?

Click here to find out!

Someone recently stated that their purpose of participating in the election and voting for Obama was because they were concerned about ensuring the safety of their future child. Their claim was that they were voting for "the lesser of two evils", as if that excludes them from voting for evil.

To make the claim that your participation in and continued advocation of institutionalized violence (the state) is for the purpose of ensuring the safety of your children is like advocating the reinstitution and spread of small pox to ensure a healthy and disease free environment. If you want to ensure a safe environment for your child, then take the full responsibility of creating that safe environment at home.

If you want to ensure a world of safety for your child then the worst possible methodology for reaching that goal is to give a whole bunch of guns and a monopoly of power to a group of power hungry people and then expect them to protect you.

If you want to ensure a world of safety for your child, then the best way to spend your time productively in working towards that goal is to learn about your own history with violence, maltreatment, rejection and neglect. Learn how and why the world is not safe now, learn about the roots of violence, then act accordingly to change that for future generations.

Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	I think I know why you remain nervous
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	oh? It's not because I'm trying to control your perception of me?
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	well that is a symptom I think
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	but I was very struck how, when I posted about the video successes of FDR, you said 'you are doing very well'
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	do you remember that?
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	yeah
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	and you said "we are doing very well"
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	do you know why I changed that?
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	well, I thought that perhaps you meant that we are all involved in that success
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	no?
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	it means that you are hanging onto your perception of yourself as an outsider
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	ohh
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	quite right that is definitely true
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	with a tenuous bond
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	which means a precarious relationship
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	which means nervousness around an 'authority figure'
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	a need to praise, placate and appease
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	in order to maintain your 'status'
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	yes that sounds like my whole life
Greg Minton:	good morning
Stefan Molyneux:	good morning, Greg!
Nathan to Greg Minton:	hey
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	wow
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	yeah that hit a deep nerve
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	and that means that you perceive me as arbitrary and unjust, at least at some level
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	you have to, to maintain the illusion of precariousness
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	well, I don't think that you are, there's no evidence for it
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	well it is a projection
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	but yes
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	in this case, it would be you who is arbitrary and unjust
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	right exactly
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	by being 'frightened' of me
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	if that makes any sense
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	I say this with all respect and compassion, of course
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	right, it's a vicious circle or something
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	and totally thank you for bringing it up, which I know cannot have been easy
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	well it really affects our relationship and my relationship to everyone else here
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	and I want to fix that
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	it would be such a relief
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	it will be fixed when you accept that you control your rejection around virtuous people
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	it is not arbitrary
Greg Minton:	hey greg
GregG:	mornin' g
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	I'm not sure how that looks in practice?
GregG:	how are you?
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	like what would be an example of that
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	well but it is not practice, it is thought
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	oh
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	'virtuous people will never reject me if I am virtuous'
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	oh!
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	'if I am virtuous, and people reject me, they are not virtuous'
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	'If others are virtuous, and they reject me, I am doing something dishonorable'
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	that gives you total control over being rejected
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	oh right I almost got to that answer yesterday when I ways laying down and relaxing and exploring this, but that puts it into total clarity I think
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	it's like, ok if I'm trying to gain the effects of being virtuous then that's manipulative
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	and controlling
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	the whole d'Anconia's speech thing
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	the sad thing is that you are not trying to gain the effects of being virtuous
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	I don't think you are being manipulative that way at all
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	I think that you are trying to gain the effects of being non-virtuous instead
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	oh
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	that is the real tragedy
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	oh wow
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	simon the boxer then
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	'Stef is virtuous, he will reject me'
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	= 'I am dishonorable'
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	do you see how you are maintaining the low self-esteem through this?
Stefan Molyneux to Nathan:	it is quite unnecessary at this point
Nathan to Stefan Molyneux:	yes quite clearly now

_____________

It is said that we prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty, I think a lot of the truth uncovered in this conversation is a truth that follows from that preference.

Stop voting, it just enables violence...